On 18 March 2025, my friend and industry colleague passed away leaving behind his son, his lovely wife, step-children, his sisters, dad, nieces & nephews, colleagues and hundreds of friends. I was honoured to lead his Celebration of Life on 28 March 2025.

I was acutely aware of my dual role in this piece as Celebrant and Friend. In order to cope with the heavy emotions I was feeling, I detached from the situation. I kept it at the forefront of my mind that my primary role was to support his family and celebrate his life. I went so far as to not share the news with people I cared about. That way, I wouldn’t have to unpack the feelings I felt I had to suppress. My role as a friend had to be put to the side whilst I got through this one thing. I couldn’t stop thinking about him or the memories we had though. 

I find sharing my world in writing and on social media very therapeutic, so I used that outlet to help me to cope. I created a Tik Tok to share what I was going through in the minutes before his service began. A day before the service, I wrote the piece that you are about to read. Whether or not I would get a chance to share it at his celebration of life wasn’t important, I just had to get it out.

I am excited to share just how important Leith was to me as a friend and colleague. I hope you enjoy it 🙂 

Remembering Leith

Leith and I worked our first wedding together in October 2016. I was actually only contracted to that wedding,  2 days before, because the original Celebrant had fallen ill. Leith, Karin (Leith’s wife and our lighting extraordinnaire) and I were able to get to know each other for around an hour and a half. Mainly wondering if we were early; or if our couple was late !

I remember seeing the first photo that Leith produced of this couple, thinking ‘holy moly it looks like a high-end fashion photograph‘! The fusion of natural and artificial light; mixed with the couple’s natural, candid pose saw me put Leith right at the top of my list of collaborators for my business photography.

We collaborated twice: once with me wearing a beautiful pink dress made for me by a friend; and once in a Sunflower Meadow. Leith brought me out of my shell as a subject. I’d never really been intentional with poses and facial expressions except in selfies. Let me tell you, it’s much easier to be photographed whilst working! No pressure to look pretty, the photographer just has to have excellent timing aaahahahahahahahah.

Another wedding of ours took place in January 2018. The rain ended up dashing our dreams of an outdoor ceremony, so we moved inside. Leith did what needed to be done to change his camera settings and lighting strategy. Ultimately, he fit in to all nooks & crannys in between family members and furniture, to take the perfect shots of our amazing couple.

At the time of Leith’s passing , I was in the thick of writing the ceremony for a couple…and that couple has the exact same names as our 2018 couple. I’ll always hold that coincidence close as somewhat of a last hurrah from Leith, in light of our wedding industry camaraderie.

Over the years, it was always lovely to speak to Leith and hear about the latest Spotswood College Production. It meant a lot to him that his step-daughter acknowledged him when he was working on set. ‘I’ve been quite chuffed at how I turn up to rehearsals and L comes over to say hi, where she could easily pretend she doesn’t know me‘ he would beam.

We would engage in robust discussions about photography (even the politics), space & astronomy. I enjoyed stalking him to be nosey about whether or not he was heading out to capture the latest cool Astro thing.

I would always humor him when he tried to explain technical/science-y things to me. I would be super confused, but pretend to understand nonetheless. One time, I checked in with him (because he was excellent with electricity and stuff) about festoon lights and light bulbs. His reply to my enquiry was ‘it will make a 10% increase in current draw through the cable and a very minor increase in temperature of the sockets but i’m certain there will be enough safety margin in the design to cope with that’. And I was all googly-eyed with confusion but also like … ‘okay cool thanks Leith!’

I cracked up when, during one of the tributes, his friend eluded to his extremely intelligent way of speaking, and if you didn’t understand it, that was kind of your problem. I definitely experienced that!

When I went through a significant life transition, 3 years ago, Leith messaged out of the blue and offered support via his talents as a photographer. The timing was SO uncanny! In that exact moment, I was sitting on my bed, broken and crying my eyes out. I was in the depths of despair, wondering how and why I’d hit such a low. Leith, grateful that he listened to whatever guided him to reach out in that moment, gave me the most amazing advice. He shared that he was drawing from his own experience…he reminded me that our world…mine and my children’s world wasn’t ending, it was just changing.

I carried that advice with me as I grappled with how much I thought I was ruining my children through the decisions I was making. Turns out, everything worked out okay, and this changing world is now something we are all accustomed to and thriving within.

I have never really been able to make friends who are my people in the industry. I have a lot of people I love and I’m friendly with online or at weddings. But I have never really been able to connect with any of them as my people. Sometimes I’d have hope when I was included in a group chat, but those hopes would be dashed when I would see them together on each of them’s stories. ‘Oh‘ I’d say to myself. ‘They made a new group chat without me‘. That’s okay, I stopped taking that personally ages ago…unless there is something wrong with me, and nobody’s told me? You swines! 😂

Anyway, my point here is, Leith was the closest wedding vendor that I had to a friend outside of weddings. While weddings were a small part of Leith’s repertoire, in my opinion, they definitely counted him as one of us! I think it’s safe to say that we were probably friends first, and colleagues second.

The day before Leith’s wife updated me for the first time, the Universe had told me to reach out to them. I argued ‘what should I say?‘ I was driving at the time, and by the time I got home, I settled on a short message to let Leith know how excited I am to see some Astro photography in the near future, as well as some general well-wishes. I felt good because it was an out-of-the-blue…but also something relevant and exciting to talk about.

I drove in to my driveway and waited for my garage door to open to find that my smoke alarm was going off. There’s no fire, but I do discover that a wisp of cobweb has been mistaken for smoke. So I grab the broom, brush that away and get on with my night. You guessed it, I forgot to reach out.

I don’t have many brushes with grief, so, when Leith’s wife reached out the very next day with that first update, I froze. Numb, as the news sank in. I didn’t know what to do with myself. It’s very surreal when someone you’ve known for a while is suddenly hanging by a thread. It took me almost an hour to remember what Universe had instructed the night before. It then begged the question, was Universe instructing me to reach out; or stopping me from reaching out?

For the next four days, I was deeply honoured to be part of the close circle receiving updates, including the one advising of his passing, an hour after the fact. I was just getting in to the car to take my daughter to soccer when it came though.

When I was asked to be the Celebrant for his funeral, I was very honoured; and determined to do the best job EVER for my friend. I forgot to mention earlier, I was his Marriage Celebrant a few years back. Our ongoing friendship meant that I was their top choice for this role. What a bloody honour. I felt so privileged.

Planning for his funeral service, I look back on my work with his family, my quiet moments with his awesome and brave wife. I look back on the service and how proud I was to write and deliver something so beautiful. I look back on how amazing the Funeral Director Kelli was towards me: guiding me, respecting me as someone inexperienced yet chosen…I can’t stop thinking about how deeply greatful I feel for the opportunity to be a part of such a hugely sacred season in the lives of those who love him so much.

Now that the final farewell has been and gone, it’s time to settle in to my healing space where the thoughts, feelings and memories I have can start to take effect.

Mine and Leith’s friendship was formally informal. He had so much integrity and treated me with high regard. Always. I will be forever grateful for the ways in which Leith accepted me for my bubbly and slightly immature personality.

All my love goes out to his family, his colleagues and his friends who begin their journey of life with him watching on in spirit.

The following passage, adapted from A.A. Milne’s The House at Pooh Corner, can serve as a reminder that Leith will continue to guide and strengthen, in this life and the next.

If ever there is a tomorrow when we’re not together…there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart…I’ll always be with you.

I will miss my friend a lot. I’ll see you when I get there, Leith.